Blood Runs Cold- 2012

Posted: March 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

Blood Runs Cold -2012

2 out of 5 Screams

Tagline: ”Winona, a successful artist looking to get away from her stressful life. Her manager rents her a house in her home town where she runs in to an old boyfriend. They go back to the house, only to find out it is not as empty as they assumed.

Ugh. Theres so many problems with this movie, I dont even know where to start.

Firstly, lets talk about the accents. Amy and I had quite a good laugh making fun of the way everyone talked. They were clearly Dutch, or Sweedish. For some reason, they insisted on speaking with a forced American accent. At first, it was funny to make fun of how they talked…then, it was just REALLY FUCKING DISTRACTING. Luckily, things get better after people start getting picked off.

I didnt like, or identify with any of the characters. I couldnt wait for them to meet their bloody demises, and Ii actually started rooting for the killer. The killer, whom is a cannibal. A cannibal of supernatural/alien origin that cannot be hurt/killed/may be blind or deaf/really good with an axe. But hey, thats all you know BECAUSE THEY NEVER EXPLAIN WHO HE IS OR GIVE ANY CLUES. What the fuck is this guy? You never know, or find out.

This may also be the only horror movie where every victim has a WORKING CELL PHONE, and never uses it to call the police. Or friends. Or help. Or the pizza guy. They have phones and they never fucking use them to call for help. This is, of course the least of your worries, since every other decision they make is borderline RETARDED.

Ive got to say its a little ironic that we just watched and reviewed the “Cold Prey” series. This movie makes “Cold Prey” look like fucking Gone with the Wind or Citizen Kane.

Watch it, if youre bored or if you want to get wasted and make fun of it. I cant tell if its supposed to be “toungue in cheek”funny. Or if its just poorly executed. I will say, however it was made with a budget of $8,000 bucks. So thats pretty cool. All of the blood is ridiculous, though and alot of it is digitally edited in.

Check it out….or dont. *shrug

 

 

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