Mama (2012)

Posted: June 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

Mama (2012)

 

Mama (2013)

2.5 out of 5 Screams

Tagline: The film deals with the story of two young girls abandoned in a forest cabin, fostered by an unknown entity that they fondly call Mama, which eventually follows them to their new suburban home after their uncle retrieves them.

This marks the second time that Del Toro put him name on some shit to apparently line his friend’s pockets with money. That might sound a little jaded. But hey, Im not going to bullshit you.

The first time, was with “Dont Be Afraid of The Dark“.  About little,  CGI laden tooth faeries. Which, if I were not getting heroically drunk whilst I was viewing, I wouldve turned it off 20 minutes in.

And now we have this one. Once again every scene rapes your occular orbs with half-assed computer generated imagery. Imagery that quite honestly, would have been conveyed more appropriately with practical effects. Im not one of those people who think that CGI has no place in movies. I think it can be used effectively (lol punz) in many instances. This is not one of them.

Especially when they had an actor playing some of the parts in a few scenes. They even got the creepy guy from the end of “[REC]” to play “Mama” in a few scenes where they used the practical effects techniques. But whatever. I digress.

The story is an expanded version of a short film. The story is by far the best part of the film. It was well written until the forced ending. I wont spoil anything,  but the ending leaves you saying : “Why????? What the hell??”

As far as the acting goes, Jessica Chastain is almost completely wasted in this film. She steals every scene as the punk rock bassist turned reluctant surrogate mother. She truly is a talented actress, and seems a little out of place from the get-go.

Also….its not very scary. And I know what youre thinking. Youre thinking I watch too much of this shit, and I dont get scared. Im hear to tell you, thats not true. I get freaked out. I LIKE being freaked out. Thats why I watch this stuff. But in this case, it didnt happen.

You know that coffee commercial where the brother comes home from South Africa on Christmas and his sister answers the door? You know that uncomfortable moment where the sister says “Youre my present this year” and puts on bow on her brothers chest, suggesting some kind of perversion akin to Leia Kissing Luke in Star wars?

That freaks me out way more than this film.

But dont get me wrong, it isnt an entertainment void. I wasnt looking out the window while the movie was playing, wondering what its like to be a squirrel or anything ( I HAVE done that before, with other films Amy and I endured).

It was a fun watch, but I cant give it a good rating, because of the flaws. I guess the biggest problem I had with it, is the fact that it couldve been AMAZING. It had all of the potential.

It was like having a kid that drops out of school one semester before he graduates.

Or the daughter that asks you for money so she can buy a Morning After Pill.

Or when you order a Ten Piece Chicken Nugget, and you get home and only have a six piece.

Or when you drive to the store in the middle of the night, to get ice cream. The store is closed.

You expect better, but it didnt happen the way you hoped.

Im not mad, just disappointed.

 

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